Team Fortress Cartoon Network vs Nintendo
by BuddyJack
Summary: A battle between two company titles. Based off of TF2. Rated T for blood, violence and language.
1. Introduction

Team Fortress CN vs. Nintendo

Cartoon Network Team:

Buttercup Utonium (Powerpuff Girls) as the Scout

Brick Jojo (Powerpuff Girls) as the Soldier

Kuki Sanban 'Numbuh 3' (Condname: Kids Next Door) as the Pyro

Scotsman (Samurai Jack) as the Demoman

Harold 'Coop' Coospwlsoski (Megas XLR) as the Heavy

Dexter M. Cavanaugh (Dexter's Laboratory) as the Engineer

Princess Bonnibell Bubblegum (Adventure Time) as the Medic

Grim (The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) as the Sniper

Benedict W. Uno Jr. 'Father' (Codename: Kids Next Door) as the Spy

Team Nintendo:

Pit (Kid Icarus) as the Scout

Ike (Fire Emblem) as the Soldier

Dawn Pearl (Pokemon Diamond/Pearl) as the Pyro

Wario Wario (WarioWare) as the Demoman

Donkey Kong (Donkey Kong Country) as the Heavy

Jeff Andonuts (EarthBound) as the Engineer

Mario Mario (Mario Bros.) as the Medic

Samus Aran (Metroid) as the Sniper

Princess Zelda/Shiek (Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) as the Spy

Well, what do you think? I'll set up some chapters if I come up with anything.


	2. Short 1 Don't Irritate the Reaper

Short 1: Don't Irritate the Reaper

2Fort, May 19

Grim was siting on a chair with his reaper style rifle in hand, aiming at any Nintendo scumbag in his sight. He saw Pit walk out of the base stretching all board. "Ah ha... Here we are..." Grim aimed carefully at the angel boy's head as Pit looks at the sky blissfully unaware of Grim's presents. "Standin around like a freakin idiot. You should-a stayed home wid your dear adoptive mum."

Grim was about to pull the trigger, when suddenly Buttercup appeared between him and Pit as she shouted at Pit "Yo, Penguin boy!" Pit looked right at Buttercup when Grim shot Buttercup from behind the head by mistake. "Aaaaahhhhhhhggggggg!"

**TEAM KILLER!**

Pit flinched at this and ran back inside. Grim made a shocked expression at what he did. "Ah! Aw man! I was so close!" Grim sighed as Samus came into view, which helped regain Grim's confidence. "Take a gander at dis little beauty." Samus unwind as she sat down with her Imperialist uploaded in her arm cannon. "Steady, steady-Ow!"

Grim got his head ono knocked off by Buttercup, who had respawned quickly and was angry. "What the #€££ was that crap?! You just shot me in the head!"

Grim looked at Buttercup with a mad and said "Alright, first off, that was an accident, second of all, don't curse! You're too young for that!"

"Screw you, bonehead! You're not the Professor!" Buttercup snapped. "Anyway, I was about to fight that angel freak when you suddenly shot me!"

"Excuse me? You were the one that came out of no where! If you hadn't, I would've bagged Palutena's little captain!"

Buttercup crossed her arms and did a raspberry. "Pffft! Yeah right! I would've taken Arm-Pit on mono-e-mono!"

"Sure you would've." Grim said sarcastically as his body picked his head up and placed it on and twisted it to make it fit. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Chizo blooded girl to dominate."

Buttercup looked over at the Nintendo's side and then pointed out "Uh... Someone beat you to it."

Grim widened his eyes in shock. "What?!" He looked at where Samus is with his sniper scope and saw Samus dead with a knife in her back and Father standing arms crossed and waving at Grim heartily, clearly rubbing it in his bony face. Angered, Grim shook a fist in the air and shouted "Hey, Uno! That was my free kill!"

"Not anymore." Father said back at Grim before shape shifting into Mario and running away.

Grim let out a sigh as he sat down and waits for a new target to appear.

**The next day**

Grim went up to the view point to do his job. He looked out through his scope when he heard something stick to something. He looked down and saw some sticky bombs near his feet. "Aw... ¥!$$!" Before the stickies blew him up to pieces. Wario, who activated the bombs laughed before he went in for the intelligence.

Grim then ran out of the respawn/reload room and shouted "Help! I need some help here!"

That's when Bubblegum ran up to him and asked "What's going on? What was that loud explosion?"

"Wario blew me up and is probably on his way to the intelligence!" Grim informed. "Come on!" They ran to the bottom of their base near the intelligence leaning against the wall.

Bubblegum looked around for Wario as she asked "Are you sure he came by here? I don't see him."

"Oh he's down here. I can feel it in my bones." Grim said in a low serious tone. "Is your medigun fully charged? We might need that."

"Actually, I have something better, and something to tell you." Bubblegum said.

Grim raised an eye brow in confusion. "Hm? And what might that be? Aaaaahhhhh!" Grim screamed feeling his scapula crushed by a knife which Bubblegum stabbed him with.

Bubblegum had mischievous smirk as she said "A knife." She then revealed herself to be Sheik who walked by Grim's body to the intelligence room. "And I never really was on your side."

**A day later**

Grim looked below to see no one, so he looked through his sniper only to see rockets coming at him. "Holy nether!"

Grim blew up as Ike from the other side made a salut with his finger and thumb forming an L. "A-ten-hut!"

**Another day later**

Grim walked steadily to the left while taking aim. When he stopped, he was shot in the head by Samus. "Got ya, you eyeless £&$%&#€!"

**Yet another day later**

Grim sat on a bench as he thought about the recent misfortune he had endured the past few days, thinking that because he was exposed there was a chance that he would be blasted or shot at. So he figured that he'll try and snipe them from below.

With a grin, Grim took his rifel and headed down stairs. He took aim at the top and saw his first target of the day. Donkey Kong, who was eating a banana. "This time, I'm the one with the elements of surprise here. And he's standin around like a prim ape idiot." Grim aimed righ for Donkey Kong but then suddenly, he felt his bones burning. Grim screamed in pain and ran around screaming "FIRE, I'M ON FIRE!" As Dawn, who burned him made cute giggles.

He ran until he found Dexter who had just set up his sentry and dispenser. Seeing Grim on fire, Dexter asked "You tried to snipe from below, didn't you?"

"Just shut up and let me use the dispenser! My bones are turning to ash!" Grim said impatiently as he headed for the dispenser and healed up. "Aaaahhhhh... Sweet relief."

Then he heard Dexter said "That's good." Then got stabbed in the back again and then sees the sentry and dispenser get sapped. "Because I'd rather you die peacefully." Said Sheik's voice as Grim sees his feet going by.

**And another day after**

Grim walked out of the respawn room with a miserable sigh when Brick approached him wondering what was eating him up. "What's up with you, bones and bones?"

Grim looked at Brick with a grumpy stare saying "Shut up." Then he turned to walk away, but then stopped and turned back around at Brick with skeptical paranoia. "Oh no you don't!"

Brick raised an eye brow in confusion as to what Grim is talking about. "Oh no I don't what?"

"Don't play stupid with me, man!" Grim demanded pointing a bony finger at the red Ruff. "I already know that you're that Sheika in disguise!"

"What? You think that I'm that freaky gender confused bandage face?!" Brick asked in disbelief.

Grim placed a fist under his chin and answered "Perhaps, unless you suggest a lie detector test!"

Getting frustrated, Brick yelled "I am not going to stab you in the back!"

"We'll see about that!" Grim said with half closed eyes.

Brick face palmed himself and turned around saying "Forget it, I'm out of here!"

"I don't think so!" Grim said as he stabs Brick in the back, making the red Ruff scream in pain before dying. Grim pulled his knife out then heard this phrase.

**TEAM KILLER**

Grim made a shocked expression and face palmed himself. "Aw, come on, man! What was I supposed to do if there is a spy involved?"

Hearing Grim's complaint, Coop came along and sees Brick's dead body. He looked at Grim and said "You know, if you could produce urine and have it in a jar and throw it at us, then you could tell who's the spy." Coop then shrugged. "Sure it would be disgusting, but at least it helps, right?"

Grim bowed his head and sighed shaking his head. "I suppose I could use some urine from you guys. Care to do it now?"

"Well, I might have to drink a lot of slurpy and then I might give you..."

Confused of why Coop stopped in his tracks, Grim looked and saw Coop as a frozen statue. "What the?! How the #€££ did that happen?"

Sheik then appeared behind him saying "I'm how!" before stabbing Grim with an icicle, turning him into an ice statue. "And you suck!" Sheik laughed as he walked down to the intelegance room again.

**Another day later again again**

Grim decided to take it easy as he laied down on an examination table. "Ah... Perhaps a little medicine is all I need. Bonnibell might even suggest a stress pill."

He then heard a femmien voice say "Good day. And how is the patient?"

"Relaxed now." Grim said calmly.

"Good. Now if you would please have your back face the ceiling, we may get started."

Grim did as he was told without hesitating. "Alright. What are you going to do?"

The figure approached the table and said "What am I going to do?" Then in a male voice, much to Grim's surprise, the figure said "I'm going to saw through your bones!"

"Wait, what?" Grim asked right when a saw stabbed through his rib cage making him scream in pain. Turns out it was Mario that came in because Team Cartoon Network lost this round.

The Italian Plumber pulled his rubber glove to make it fit better as he said with a smirk "Did that sting? Sorry."

**So Grim rage quits for now. If this was too short, let me know. (R&R)**


	3. Short 2 MEDIC!

Short 2: MEDIC!

**Viaduct February 2**

Nintendo Side

"MEDIC!" Donkey Kong called out as Mario rushes to answer.

He arrived and said "You called?"

"Follow me!" Donkey Kong requested as he went ahead to a snowy hill.

"Okie-dokie!" Mario followed Donkey Kong to the view of the control point, where they find Buttercup, Brick, the Scotsman, Dexter, and Numbuh 3 defending it. "Mamma Mia! That's quite a defense they have going there."

Donkey Kong held his mini gun up getting ready to shoot. "Get ready to charge me, Mario!"

Mario held his medi-gun up to prepare for Uber-charge. "Alright! Ready to charge! Let's-a GAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!"

Hearing the scream, the Kong turned around to see what was wrong only to see Mario coughing. "Ahem! Sorry. I think I swallowed a bug. I'm fine now."

Donkey Kong raised an eye brow then shrugged his shoulders. "Well, just help me capture the point!"

Donkey Kong then heard a different voice say "I think not!" Then he got stabbed in the back as he screamed in pain before dying. Father, who was behind him, chuckled evilly before disappearing.

Mario respawned as he mumbled to himself "Stupid spy!" The plumber put the misfortune he endured aside and ran to the battle field, waiting to heal people. He then collided with Wario which forced both of them to the ground. Mario looked at Wario, seeing his greedy counterpart covered in blood. "Wow!"

"Yeah, don't ask! Just heal me!" Wario demanded.

"Sure thing!" Mario used his medi-gun to heal Wario to over heal, but then three rockets came towards them and they screamed in panic before exploding to pieces.

From where the rockets were fired, Brick reloaded his bazooka as the Rowdyruff leader chuckled and commented "This American boot just kicked both of your butts back to Italy!"

The next day, Cartoon Network Side

"MEDIC!" Coop called out as Princess Bubblegum rushes to answer the call.

"You called?"

Coop pointed at the hill top as he exclaimed "I need your help in capturing the point!"

Bubblegum looked over to see Pit, Ike, Jeff, Wario, and Dawn defending the control point. She pondered at this before saying "I think what we need is an Uber-charge! But I'm only about fifty percent ready. And I'm afraid finding a team mate to heal will take a bit too long."

They then heard a little girl's voice say "No problem!" They turned and looked down to see Buttercup with her arms crossed. "You got an Ubersaw, right Bonnie?"

"Yes, why?" Bubblegum asked with a raised eye brow. "I can't just walk up to them and say 'hi, Nintendorks! I'm going to saw through your bones to be fully charged, if that's okay with you!' They'll blast me to oblivion if they saw me walk up to them!"

"They're not! They will only see me!" Buttercup explained as she zipped over to the Nintendo Team. "Hey Nerdtendo! You guy's games sucks eggs!"

The Nintendo's looked at where it came from and saw Buttercup shaking her butt at them, taunting them to get her. The ticked off team mates stared daggers at her. "Get that annoying little $#!¥!" Ike exclaimed as they went after Buttercup who ran out of there.

The Nintendo's gave chase to the green Puff, but they soon came to a stop, seeing that she disappeared. "Where did she go?" Asked Pit, unaware that Bubblegum was sneaking behind them, stabbing them from behind one by one, covering their mouths so the rest couldn't hear. She started with Dawn, then Wario, and Jeff.

With Pit and Ike left, the candy princess walked as slowly and carefully as possible. "I'm getting the feeling that this is a trap." Ike said when he got his mouth covered before getting stabbed.

"You're just figuring it out now?" Pit said before he got stabbed.

"Success!" Bubblegum exclaimed in triumph.

Coop and Buttercup came out of hiding and ran up to Bubblegum. "Nice work! At least we'll use it to defend."

"Yes, well in case a big army comes our way, I will be fully chaAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" Bubblegum was suddenly shot in the head, which surprised Coop and Buttercup in shock.

From afar, Samus wave taunted as she called out "What's up, princess?!"

"Aw man! And after all that hard work!" Buttercup said in frustration, looking at Coop.

"Man, this is a bad day." Coop said before he got shot in the head too. "Aaaaaaahhhh!"

"Uh oh! I better get out of here!" Buttercup thought aloud. But before she could run, she got stabbed in the back. "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"I don't think so." Said Shiek as he disappeared.

**Turbine June 13**

Nintendo Side

Mario ran out it the spawn room to heal team mates. Mario saw Pit running back all wounded and in need of healing, so he got his medigun ready. But when he was about to heal, Pit ran past him. Confused, Mario looked at where Pit was going and then made a face of disbelief, seeing the angel using Jeff's dispenser instead.

"Thanks Jeff!" Pit said with a thumbs up.

"No problem!"

Mario had his jaw dropped but then made a mad face. "I bet the candy princess is having a similar problem!"

Cartoon Network side

Bubblegum was about ready to move out and heal people, but then Buttercup came running calling "MEDIC! Help!" Bubblegum aimed at Buttercup and healed Buttercup fully, even over healed. "Thanks, Bonnie!"

"Ja! You're welcome!" Bubblegum said, when suddenly, the wounded Scotsman ran to her.

"MEDIC!" He cried before falling flat on his face. He lifted his head looking up at Bubblegum. "I feel like every bone in me body's broke."

Bubblegum rolled her eyes and healed the Scotsman. "There you are Mr. Scotsman. All healed."

"Ah, thanks princess." The Scotsman said in gratitude as he ran out to battle "Let's do iiiiiiit!"

After he left, Bubblegum said "Maybe now, I'll find Coop and help him get the..."

Bubblegum then cringed when she heard Brick call out "MEDIC!"

Bubblegum face palmed herself. "Great...!"

When Brick caught up with her, Bubblegum healed him. "You deserve a medal, your sugariness!"

When Brick left, Bubblegum sighed. "Perhaps now I can proceed to..."

"MEDIC!" She heard Numbuh 3 cry, much to her irritation.

"Grrr...! ¥&£€&##!%!" Bubblegum yelled to the air. After Bubblegum healed Numbuh 3, she spotted Dexter and she immediately walked up to him and said "Dexter!"

Dexter turned his attention to her. "Yeah?"

"I need you to build a dispenser for me, so that I can take a break, please?"

Dexter shrugged and said "Alrighty then!"

"Thank you." Bubblegum said as she turned around with a sigh of relief.

"No, princess. Thank you." Daxter said as he stabbed Bubblegum in the back, killing her. Dexter then turned into Shiek as he walked away. "Thank you for being such a dear friend."

**Hydro August 4**

Nintendo Side

Mario ran outside to heal his team mates. "MEDIC!" Ike called out as he ran up to Mario who was about to heal him when BOOM! Ike blew to pieces by the Scotsman.

The Scotsman laughed drunk as he commented "Dominated, private blue head! I'm gonna kill you and I'll... keep killing ya... And then I'll $€##£& your &$$... like a bass... €¥#%$& I'm the $&&#%# grass man... Then €€#¥$% kidnap your sister... And ££$&%#¥€..."

Soon Samus came running to him saying "Mario! I need you to heal my..." Before Samus could finish, she got hit in the head by a baseball as she fell to the ground.

From afar, Buttercup acted proud of herself as she said "Did anybody see that? I just dominated that hybrid freak! BONK!"

Mario made a mad look and went elsewhere so that he can heal someone in peace. That's when Dawn came along saying "Mario! I need some healing!"

"Okie dokie!" Mario activated his midigun healing Dawn when she was suddenly shot in the head, surprising Mario.

From where the shot came from, Grim reloaded his rifel as he commented in a quiet tone "Here's a touching story... Once upon a time, you died and I lived happily ever after. The end."

Mario facepalmed himself as Jeff comes running to him calling "MEDIC!"

Mario looked at Jeff with a grumpy expression and said "€&##&$!0#£! Is there a point to your lives?!"

He then heard Jeff scream bloody murder, making the Italian look back in shock. He sees Jeff fall to the floor dead with Father behind him holding a bloody knife. "Apparently not, Mr. Mario."

Father then shoots Mario in the face. "And you are such a bad doctor as much as a bad plumber!" Father laughed as he vanishes.

Cartoon Network Side

Bubblegum ran out to assist someone and as if right away, Coop came along saying "Bonnibel! You ready to capture the point?"

Bubblegum made a confident smile as she said "Of course! I'm always ready for accomplishing missions!"

"Then let's go!" Coop went up ahead as Bubblegum follows behind while over healing him. As they ran, Coop shot anyone that came running their way. "Awwaaaaahhhh! Oowaaaaaah! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Keep crying babies!"

"Good work, Coop! Now go!" Bubblegum said as they made their way to the Nintendo's control point. When they made it, it a seemed deserted, which was good for them. "Amazing! We're going to win!"

"Yeah! All we have to do is stand on the point and... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Coop was suddenly shot in the head much to the candy princess' surprise.

"Ah!" Bubblegum looked at the roof top and saw Samus from the roof top.

"I just bagged the world's fattest!" Samus commented in victory.

Scared, Bubblegum turned to run when she bumped into something invisible. She fell to the ground and rubbed her head. She looked up and saw Shiek pointing a gun at her face. He pulled the trigger and killed Bubblegum.

In the spawn room, Bubblegum respawned with an angry glare as the voice of Elmer Fudd said "Yous failed stalemate!"

Coop, who was standing next to Bubblegum with a bewildered face as he asked confused "Wait, we lose, but they don't win? Huh. That's kind of weird."

Brick then approached Coop and Bubblegum with a mad look as he asked "Alright! I wanna know something, and I wanna know now! Which one of you numbskulls had let us down?!" Bubblegum's only answer to that was shooting a syringe into his eye which was really painful. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Brick screamed in agony as he fell dead.

**TEAM KILLER!**

Coop made a scared stance after seeing what happened. "Uh... Was that really necessary?"

Bubblegum glared at Coop as she answered "Yes! Because my skills are wasted on this team!"

**Mario and Bubblegum don't have the easiest job in the entire game, and we can very well relate when playing as the Medic. Hope you enjoyed.**


End file.
